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Forever Pucked

By:Helena Hunting

Forever Pucked
Helena Hunting


I wouldn't have found my lady balls without you, Pepper.


Husband of mine; you make this possible. Thank you for being my  sidekick, my best friend and my assistant when I need you. You wear all  the hats. You're amazing and I love you for every sacrifice you make and  every opportunity you give me to thrive.

Mom, Dad, Mel and Chris, I love you so much, thanks for being my family.

Debra, pepper is the best. Thank the lord I have you, because no one else could manage me. I love you.

Kimberly and the crew at RF Literary and Meire and Flavia at Bookcase; let's keep making magic happen.

Nina; you always have my back, and my front, and all the sides.

Jessica, let's sleep for after this. Thank you for keeping me on the level, particularly when plastic beavers are involved.

Shannon, insert smiling poop emoticon here. Thanks for managing the stressful parts! I love you.

Ellie, you are seriously amazing. Thank you for taking care of me. We make an amazing team.

Teeny, you are unbelievable. Like totally. Thank you for being there to  walk me through all the things and then just take over, because you're  made of magic.

Erika, one day, we'll appreciate the stamina together. You're what fabulous is made for. Thank you for being real.

Susi, muffin, I want to snuggle you like Miller.

Sarah, honestly, I'm not sure how I functioned before without you. Thanks for making sure I don't forget to breathe.

Hustlers; Alecia, Amanda, Ciara, Deb, Melissa, Jennie, Stephanie,  Serena, Elaine, Sarah, Lauren, Christina, Elizabeth, Angy and Cherie  you're part of my family. I love you ladies. Thank you for making  releases so much fun and for being such an important part of my world!

Deb, Sarah & Jen, thank you for calming me down, because seriously, this one was a little whackadoodle.

Heather, you're the best stalker, I can't wait to see you and your hair again.

Kandace, you're the most amazing kind of human being. I'm so glad we had time in Vegas together.

Beaver Babes, you ladies are incredible! I love hanging out with you and  chatting books, and getting excited for new projects! Thank you for  being with me on this journey, you make my day brighter just for  existing.

To my Backdoor Babes; Tara, Meghan, Deb and Katherine, I love that we can all just be weird together and it's okay.

My Smut Saloon ladies; Melanie, Jessica and Geneva, the gifs are the best way to communicate!

To my Pams, the Filets, my Nap girls; 101'ers, and Indies Tijan, Vi,  Penelope, Susi, Deb, Erika, Katherine, Alice, Shalu, Amanda, Leisa,  Kellie, Vicki, you are fabulous in ways I can't explain. Thank you for  being my friends, my colleagues, my supporters, my teachers, my  cheerleaders and my soft places to land.

My WC crew; thank you for celebrating this journey with me and for being  my friends even though I don't get to see you every day anymore.

Colleen, thank you for The Bookworm, for being an inherently good person, and for being such an inspiration.

To all my author friends and colleagues; thank you for all the amazing  things you do and share, for celebrating each other's successes, for  sharing the platform and for making this such an amazing community to be  part of.

To all the amazing bloggers and readers out there who have supported me  from the beginning of my angst, to the ridiculous of my humour; thank  you for loving these stories, for giving them a voice, for sharing your  thoughts and for being such amazing women. I'm honoured and humbled and  constantly amazed by what a generous community you are.

To my Originals; my fandom friends who started on this crazy journey  back in 2008, I can't believe how far we've all come. Thank you for  sticking with me, and for being the reason I'm here, doing this thing,  and loving it.


Anniversaries Suck

Cheesy Balls


Today is mine and Alex's one-year anniversary, and it sucks donkey dick.  Well, it's one of our "anniversaries." Alex likes to celebrate every  single milestone in our relationship because he's sappy and romantic  like that. He also likes to have an excuse to buy me gifts. Lots of  them. Extravagant ones. For my birthday he bought me a car. A nice car.  With heated seats and automatic everything. New cars are scary because  they don't have dings and dents, and they need to be maintained.

Anyway, I digress. Anniversaries. This month we're celebrating our  "First Official Date" Anniversary. Alex likes to consider the first time  we had sex our "real" anniversary, but since we hardly knew each other  then, apart from how our genitalia fit together, I prefer to  fast-forward a month to when I wasn't thinking with my beaver. Not  totally, anyway.                       


It's still up for debate as to whether the day he locked me in the  conference room at my work and forced me to have coffee with him later  was our official first date. I'm inclined to go with the night he took  me out for dinner and we ended up back at his place, banging on his  couch, which is what we're celebrating tonight. It's marked on our  calendar. There's even a sticker with a smiley face. I'm dubbing this  one our second sexiversary because it's the second occasion when we had  sex, and because it annoys Alex.

Sadly, we might not get the opportunity to fuck like it's our third  time-we did it twice that first time, for those of you keeping score at  home-again tonight. Alex is currently on a bus back to Chicago with the  team after a series of four away games. He's been gone for more than a  week. A snowstorm is blowing north through the Midwest, and last I heard  from him, they were stuck at some rest stop-still more than two hours  from home, and that's without the snow slowing them down.

It's already three in the afternoon. If they can't make it back before  it gets dark and the storm picks up, he'll be stuck at a hotel for the  night. We might be able to have phone sex, but that's not the same as  hugging his wood with my beaver. So that's why this anniversary sucks.

And even if he makes it home tonight, he's bound to be bagged, which may  put a damper on the sexiversary lovin'. Not that he won't perform. He  will. He always does. But it won't be with the level of exuberance I've  grown accustomed to over the past year. I might only get two orgasms out  of him instead of the requisite three or four he usually strives for.

Charlene, my best friend and colleague at Stroker and Cobb Financial  Management, peeks her head into my cubicle. She looks disembodied with  the way the rest of her is out of sight. She's also smiling like she  belongs in some kind of asylum.

"What's up?" I ask.

"You have a delivery."

"What kind of delivery?"

Alex likes to send me gifts at work. Once he had some guy dressed as a  beaver sing a love song to me. It was mortifying. Jimmy, one of the  other junior accountants, recorded it and posted it on YouTube.  Obviously I made him take it down, but it had already gone viral.

"An Alex delivery."

I brace myself for humiliation as she grunts, moving my gift into view.

I don't say anything for a few long seconds. Alex is over the top with  everything. But then, when you're the highest-paid NHL player in the  league, you can afford to be extravagant and highly ridiculous.

"Not what you expected?" Charlene asks, biting her lip to keep from busting out laughing.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I gesture to the four-foot stuffed  beaver wearing a hockey jersey. It's almost as wide as it is tall. "I  don't even know if it'll fit in my car."

I also don't want to carry it through the building.

"I'm sure we can make it fit." I ignore Charlene's eyebrow waggle. She's  referencing my fiancé's monster cock. I'm not talking about a pet  rooster, either. His dick is massive. I love it so much, even though  putting it in my mouth is a workout all on its own.

I grab the beaver by its ears, hefting it into my cubicle so it's no  longer blocking all the walking space between my office and the one  across from me. Thank the lord Jimmy isn't in there or he'd be all over  this. I need to hide the beaver. I don't have to see the back of the  jersey to know it's got Alex's last name and number on it. This is a  giant version of the small beaver Alex sent me back when he was first  stalking me. Because I'm so awesome in bed. And he loves my boobs. And I  told him I loved his cock. It was quite the first encounter.

My relationship with Alex Waters, center and team captain for Chicago,  started as a one-night stand. A poorly thought-out one. I would've run  into him after our night of passion since my stepbrother, Buck, is on  his team, but I hadn't thought that far ahead when I was sticking my  hands down his pants a year ago.

The beaver is holding a heart-shaped box. I pluck it from his paws while  Charlene puts her arm around it and takes a selfie. I open the card; of  course, it's beaver-themed-a pair of cartoon beavers with little hearts  above their heads. They're in love, just like Alex and me.