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My Best Friend's Ex

By:Quinn & Meghan Quinn

Chapter One


"Just stick it in. Stop stalling and get it over with."

"I can't."

"Emma, it's not going to go in itself."

I twist my hands in front of me and say, "Maybe it will."

Logan gives me a pointed look. "Catheters don't insert themselves. Just do it."

"But," I bite the inside of my cheek and look behind me at Mr. Freeland, "it's so wrinkly."

Logan runs his hand over his face and exhales. "He's old. It's not the first ancient dick you've seen."

I swallow hard and lean forward. "It's the first ancient dick I've seen wearing a turtleneck."

"A turtle-" Logan, my best guy friend and fellow nursing student pauses and tilts his head. "He's not circumcised?"

"No. And I'm not sure how to handle it. Do I just go in there, pull the turtleneck down, and resume business?"

"I think so." Logan thinks about it for a second and says, "Should I ask Dr. Thompkins?"

"No," I say quickly. "We don't want him judging us on our inability to handle a wrinkly old penis with a flap. We can do this."

"Why do you keep saying words like we and us? This is your patient;  you've been assigned to him. There is no we or us in this scenario."

I cross my arms over my chest and stare at my friend. "There was no we  and us when little eight-year-old Donovan came in with a nail sticking  out of his kneecap. And when you couldn't stop dry heaving, I stepped  in."

"That was different. It was a nail in a kneecap. Nails should never be  stuck in kneecaps," he stresses. "This is just an old man's dick. You've  done this a million times. You're just being lazy."

My eyebrows shoot up. "Lazy? You're calling me lazy?"

He cringes. "Bad choice of words. Not lazy per say more . . ." he thinks  for a second and then shakes his head. "No, you're being lazy. What are  you going to do when we aren't working together anymore? Ask someone  else to play with the turtleneck?"


Logan and I have known each other since our first year in nursing  school. Both wide-eyed and scared shitless from the amount of crap we  had to clean during our first clinical, we stuck together. Now we're in  our fourth year, just around the corner from graduating, he's still by  my side, but now he's no longer helping me, but pushing me to be better.  He's been quite aggressive in his approach this year and I know it's  because when we graduate, we'll most likely go our separate ways.

"Today isn't a good day for me." I pause and twist my long brown hair between my fingers.

"Yeah, why's that?" There is a smirk on his lips. He's calling my bullshit.

"Uh, period." I nod my head, liking this idea. "Yeah. Got the period.  Not only do I shed my uterine walls during this three to five day stint  of living hell, but I also become very unpredictable. You never know  what I'll end up doing." I clasp my index finger and thumb together and  start making jabby motions. "See, very unpredictable."

With his giant man-fist, Logan palms my hand, halting all jabbing.  "First of all, don't try to scare me with your shedding uterus. You fail  to remember I had to assist a doctor in removing a double-tampon pileup  from Vagina Veronica my second year. I've been conditioned by the  female menstruation since then. And second of all, do you really think  your little erratic jabs will deter me? I kick-box for a hobby against  men two times your size."

Damn it, I forgot both those things.

I cross my arms over my chest and look him up and down. "You're annoying, you know that?"

"Just looking out for my girl. Now, go in there, say hi to Mr. Freeland, and get the job done."

Huffing out my frustration, I walk toward Mr. Freeland's room just as my  phone rings. "Oh, I have to get that," I say rather desperately,  appreciating the surprise distraction.

"You don't have to-"

I hold up my finger. "Uh I'm on the phone." I catch his smirk as I turn around and answer the call. "Hello?"

"Emma? It's Adalyn." Even though I'm thankful for the distraction, it's  rare for my roommate to call during the day when I'm on clinical.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Uh, you might want to come home." The wariness in her voice sends prickles of fear up my back.

"Is everything okay?" Logan gives me a get-real look, probably assuming I'm making up this entire phone call.         



"Not really, just come home as quickly as you can."

"Okay." Confused, I hang up and look at Logan. "That was Adalyn. I need to get home now."

Sitting back on his heels, Logan starts to slow clap for me. "Wow, well  played, Em. Didn't think you had such trickery in your back pocket but  you proved me wrong."

"I'm not kidding. I didn't make this up."

"Awfully convenient." His mouth twists.

"How on earth could I have asked Adalyn to call me? I've been with you this whole time."

Logan thinks about it for a second and then says, "Telepathically. Women  always sync together when they get their periods. I wouldn't be  surprised if one uterus shouted to the other an SOS."

I roll my eyes and head toward the locker room; our shift is almost over  so this is perfect timing. "And here I thought you were different than  other guys, Logan. Can you please just do the catheter? Adalyn sounded  really nervous."

"This is such crap." He points at me and says, "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Come with me then if you don't believe me. Of course, after you do the catheter. I'll grab your things for you."

He rolls his eyes and heads into Mr. Freeland's room. Thank God! Logan  is so much more adept at catheters than I am anyway, so he would be more  gentle, just what Mr. Freeland needs. I take my time tying up loose  ends for us, grab our stuff, and then meet him in the lobby. He's  shaking his head at me as he approaches. "You're lucky I like you."

I give him a quick side hug. "Thank you."

Together, we ride the city bus to the stop near the townhouse I've been  sharing with Adalyn since the beginning of this year. Logan teases me,  accusing me of making something up to get out of touching Mr. Freeland's  penis. Naturally, I deny every accusation while feeling very lucky I  was able to avoid the touching of old dick today.

That is until I show up at our little house.

When we walk up to the house, a duplex, Adalyn is sitting on the steps, a  paper in her hand. What is going on? Adalyn doesn't sit outside. She's  afraid of the sun, not really, but she's usually in the house, her nose  buried in a book preparing for our upcoming nursing exams.

"Adalyn, is everything okay?" I close the space between us just as she holds up the piece of paper in her hand.

"We're being evicted."

"What?" I shout as I take the paper. Logan hovers over my shoulder,  reading the notice at the same time. At least he knows I wasn't lying  now.

It takes me a few tries to process the words on the bright red paper.  "We're being evicted," I whisper in shock. "How can that be? We've been  paying our rent on time. We haven't done anything to the property that  would get us evicted. We forgot trash day that one time, but I don't  think that would be cause for eviction."

From over my shoulder, Logan points at a sentence and says, "Your  landlord hasn't been paying the mortgage. You have one week to find a  new place."

"A week?" How did I miss that? I scan the paper again, but nothing is  making sense. "So because our landlord is an irresponsible idiot, we get  punished? How is that fair?"

Logan pulls me into a hug, taking the paper from me to read some more.  "Life isn't fair, sweetheart. Banks don't care about the people living  in the house, they just care about the bottom line."

I snuggle into his warmth. "But a week? That seems short to me."

"Yeah, how can we possibly find a place to stay in a week in the middle  of the semester? All the student housing is full by now," Adalyn adds.

"There is a buyer already interested in the space," Logan says. "The  bank is probably opting for a short sale in the hopes to get the money  off their hands."

"Can't we talk to the bank? Maybe they want to rent it to us."

Logan shakes his head. "Sorry, sweetheart, banks aren't really into the  landlord business." He hands the paper back to Adalyn. "You two need to  start searching for another place to stay because in a week, you won't  be living here anymore."

Adalyn lies back on the porch, the warm winter's day not affecting her need to retreat back inside. "This is crap."

"Who can I send a nasty gram to?" I ask, my mind already starting to  type out the letter. It would start with something like, "You piece of  crap son of a bitch asshole . . ." Yeah, that sounds about right.

"You can send one to me," Logan jokes as he releases me and sits down on the porch next to Adalyn.