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Playing His Game

By´╝ÜJustine Elvira



I'm normally not a blubbering, emotional basket case, but the events of today have broken me. The well has burst and I can't seem to get my emotions in check. What was I thinking ever agreeing to this? Am I that much of an idiot to think this would solve his problems?

I feel like I sold my soul to the devil, and now my life is ruined. Yes, I'm probably being a ginormous drama queen. My life is probably not ruined, just temporarily falling apart... but it feels destroyed. Wrecked and unable to ever be put back together.

I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. That's right, I wasn't thinking. I never fucking think. Maybe it's because I'm impulsive and never thinking of the repercussions, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. It seemed like the only idea. He needed my help and what am I if not a helpful person?

I was always the wild child in my family. I never went completely off the hinges, but compared to my goody two shoes sister, I was the black sheep. Coming home drunk at fourteen, getting busted for having a party when my parents were gone at sixteen, a pregnancy scare at seventeen, and being arrested for public intoxication at eighteen. Needless to say, I kept my parents on their toes.

I guess the only good thing about today is that my family won't be surprised. Disappointed, yes. Surprised, no.

A voice comes over the intercom, distracting me from my frantic thoughts. A woman is announcing that the rest of the passengers can now board the 747 I'm impatiently waiting to get on, bringing me from Los Angeles to Chicago. Once I'm in Chicago I'll rent a car and drive the few extra hours back home to Michigan, and then I'll have to face my parents.

I feel like a kid again, nervous about what they will think of me. I'm going to have to admit how stupid I was. That I let the love I have for this man control my decisions and I did something monumentally fucked up because of it, which probably permanently changes the way my family views me. Yes, I saved the man I love from a deadly situation, but at what cost? My dignity? My self-respect? And what do I have to show for it?

The man that I screwed up my entire life for could give two shits about me. He got what he wanted and everything is perfect in his world, while I'm hiding and hoping this all blows over soon.

The phone in my pocket starts vibrating for what seems like the millionth time and I don't grab it, don't look at the caller ID, and don't have any desire to. I know who it is. While I know Autumn is worried about me, she's not who I need to be on the other end of the phone. She's not the person who can make this all better. Only one person can do that and he's currently letting his inflated ego direct his life, not even blinking an eye over the fact that I left.

Stupid, motherfucking, egotistical asshole; I can't believe I let him destroy my life.

Chapter One

1 1/2 years earlier

"Can you explain to me again why you had to pretend you forgot Jared's birthday?" I ask my sister as we drive out of the beautiful, plush neighborhood in Beverly Hills that she lives in with her boyfriend.

This is the third time I've come out to visit my sister since she moved out to Los Angeles almost ten months ago. I was hooked on Southern California from the very first time I visited. The nearly perfect weather all year round, the sun shining and filling me with vitamin D, and my big sister living here, all helped me fall in love with it.

My sister, Autumn, came to California to get away from her old boyfriend after walking in on him with Lexi Sanders. Lexi went to school with us and is a dirty, man-eating, slut. God, I hate her. I never really liked her, but after what she did to my sweet, innocent sister, I loathe her with a passion.

I guess I can't really call Autumn innocent anymore. I mean, she is dating a hugely famous porn star, or ex-porn star that still produces porn. I'm not quite sure what his job title is. God, it hurts to look at Jared sometimes. Jared is the ex-porn star my sister is dating. He has a perfect, muscular body and gorgeous tats, and did I mention he has a pierced cock?

I shouldn't know this, and if Autumn were dating a regular guy then I wouldn't know exactly what his dick looks like. But she's with Brandon Boner... I mean, Jared. Will I ever stop thinking of him as his porn star persona, Brandon Boner? Brandon is dead and gone. He needs to be just Jared to me now.

It's hard to think of him as just Jared because I saw him naked way before Autumn did. I was a big fan of his films and watched them regularly. Don't judge me for that either. I think everyone should watch a porno or two so that they loosen up in the bedroom. It's true what they say; a man wants a lady in the street, but a freak in the bed.

I'm starting to look at Jared as a brother, I really am. He and Autumn are in love so that's the only way I can ever look at him. I'm not into him or anything, but when a man has been the star of your wet dreams on several occasions and then you find out he's dating your sister, it fucks with your head. I think I just need to get laid. It's been over a month and that is a dry spell for me.