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Take a Breath

By:Jaimie Roberts

Chapter 1

She’s staring at him again. Why does she keep looking at him like that? I can’t stand it. I look away horrified at my thoughts. I wish they would all just go away. I crave this man. This man who has been the only man I have yearned for. Who I have adored from the very first day I met him, and who tries his best to avoid me at times. He has been the centre of my world for far too long and I can’t shake him—no matter how hard I try. it tears me apart at times. I know I can’t have him and I wish I could give up this obsession for one reason—well, one major reason. He’s getting married to my mother.

The sick part about it is that she doesn’t deserve him at all. She uses people. She meets men, gets them to fall in love with her, she gets what she’s wants from them, and leaves. It is always the same pattern and has been this way since as long as I can remember. From a child I have been pushed and pulled around to different areas, different schools and never settled down anywhere. I was ‘the accident,’ and I think my mum has been making me pay for it ever since. I hope she settles down this time, although it kills me to think that way. I just want him to be happy, even if it is with my own mother.

I stare out of the window from the breakfast island trying not to look as sick as I feel. It is a beautiful day outside and the garden and pool are glistening in the sun. The house we live in is picture perfect for a family and has a statuesque element to it. It has five bedrooms all en-suite a gym and the basement downstairs also being used as a bedroom. Jake’s bedroom is the first you come to on the landing so I have to pass his room every time I go to mine—which is always torturous. Jake owns the property. It was given to him as a family home when his parents died in a tragic accident three years ago. He comes from a wealthy family and now he has inherited his wealth there really is no need for him to work. But he loves his job and I think he sees it as a purpose in life. He has worked hard on the house in the last three years trying to make it a little more modern.

I love the dining room as it has a bar area at the end by the kitchen door. The kitchen is huge and my favourite part of it is where I’m sitting now. My mother and I moved in about eight months ago and I love it here.

I eat the rest of my toast and get up to gather my things.

“Are you ready, Ana?”

Oh just him calling my name gives me goose bumps.

“Yes, Jake. I’m good to go.”

He kisses my mum on the cheek and she smiles her sweet sickly smile and says goodbye.

“Should be home around nine tonight if that’s ok, Stella?”

I wander why he was planning on coming home so late, but the thought quickly exits my head as work is calling. We have to get from McLean to Fairfax in twenty minutes.

“That’s fine, Jake. I have things to do later anyway. Bye, Ana darling. I hope you have a good day.”

I say my goodbyes and we get in the car. I try my best not to stare at Jake and instead I start thinking about how I got here.

Jake is a Captain for Fairfax County Police, in charge of Major Investigations. He got me a job there about the same time we moved in. I had completed my Bachelor’s degree in Criminal Justice and Jake was looking for a new employee. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I am an Analyst there and love my job.

Determined never to follow in my mother’s footsteps, I set out to better myself and I pushed and pushed as much as I could to get a decent job and to settle down. I am only twenty-two, but I want so much to have a normal life after so much running. Jake is mum’s toy boy as he is only thirty-three and she is forty. They both had children young as Jake has a son called Matthew, who is only sixteen and as Jake was the responsible one—and the mother at the time couldn’t cope—he moved Matthew in and has been looking after him since he was born—with the help of his rich parents of course. All this only made me want Jake all the more. I really must stop this, it’s not healthy.

“How are you feeling today?” he asks, snapping me out of my daydream.

“I’m fine thank you. I had a good sleep. You?”

“Yes, thanks but looking forward to some time off I must admit. Work has been a little hectic lately. Are you going out tonight?”

His question raises some intrigue. Why is he concerned about what I’m doing?

“Well, Jessie did mention drinks after work. You know what she’s like, all work and even more play.”

He laughs a hearty laugh. God, I love this man.

“Yes, she does like her drink doesn’t she? I may join you if you don’t mind? Are there a few of you going?”

I look at him in awe. He has the most beautiful physique. He is 6’3” and is very fit. He likes to work out in the gym so is nicely compact. He has very dark hair, slicked back and spiked at the front. He also has the most piercing green eyes I’ve ever seen. Why does he have to be so damn godlike?